Recently, the media has blasted and plastered a plethora of news stories exposing famous, rich, and attractive men cheating on their beautiful, boss chick, “perfect marrying type” wives. We’re not talking about news stories exposing cheating boyfriends (which is still wrong), we’re talking about cheating HUSBANDS. Men, whom we all watched their nuptials with their lover on television or saw their glam wedding pictures in magazines. We the viewers and readers, still get shocked by these terrible occurrences because although many in our generation attempt to downgrade marriage to a piece of paper,  we all know if you make those vows we assume your moral integrity would encourage you to uphold them. The fancy weddings, dream honeymoons, and perfect picture of the post wedding life is washed down the drain, when we hear about someone stepping outside of a marriage. YES, our carnal culture is confusing. It encourages “boys to be boys” and to get as many girls as they can rejecting monogamy but bashes the cheater who has practiced his whole life bouncing from girl to girl. ( I believe fidelity is practiced but that’s for another blog)  Anyway, what a hard life you live men, (in my most sarcastic voice). Mhmmm.. our culture promotes sexual freedoms (with the obvious double standards), but WE STILL FEEL BAD FOR THE PERSON WHO GETS CHEATED ON!! Why because no matter how much we stray as a culture from holy matrimony and the sweet idea of God ordaining two flesh becoming one, NO ONE enjoys betrayal and disloyalty. If you’ve been hurt before you wouldn’t wish the feeling on your worst enemy..right? Why, because humans can’t deny their emotions! When you love someone it hurts to be stabbed in the heart, the heart that beats for them, through infidelity.

I saw a picture and it had a collage of some of the gorgeous, talented women who were cheated on this year. All the photos were of them looking super fit wearing swimsuits and the caption read, “Keep Your Pudge Sis, These Women Still Got Cheated On”. I laughed hard, then I got mad for three reasons. 

First, I was annoyed that these women had to go through this and it’s so public. I can’t imagine the strength it takes for them to act right, when they probably want to act a fool on social media.

Two, I rolled my eyes at the thought of one assuming looks would keep a man. We all know it takes way more than that for two people in a relationship to stay together.

Second, I was mad because although looks aren’t everything, I work out all the time. It’s annoying. I don’t care to sweat out my hair but my LA Fitness bill is paid off every month so I can keep going lol. As a woman who doesn’t expect more from a man than what she has to offer; I try to take care of my mental, physical, and spiritual well being. Yet, you mean to tell me, I can be ‘ALL DAT’ and still get cheated on?! I have faith in my future husband and in the God he serves so I do hope/expect the best out of my marriage. Yet, the thought of being a good woman to a man and he still devalues what he has by cheating is sick…. Let’s be real, my life doesn’t revolve around a man, I definitely keep myself up for myself and my own personal appreciation but I also think about the fact that women are told to keep up a certain standard yet, the men seem to be free to do whatever.

Many argue, well it’s in men’s nature to be with more than one woman. WHATEVER DUDE. Historically and biblically speaking, yes men of former times had numerous wives. The B.C era had a lot of sister wife action going on. I know this. They needed to populate the earth because there weren’t a lot of people here back then, FINE, I get that. There is enough of y'all here on earth now, I am pretty sure we can slow down.  They also needed those type of family units in nomadic societies for safety etc.(google nomadic family units in your own time:) As we evolved and civilizations advanced the need for those type of family units with multiple partners dissolved. Really, men probably saw how one women is hard enough to handle,(haha) and stopped needing so many wives as cities developed with new living standards. The idea of one man and one wife became more widespread. (I am not saying it was never thought of or done before,  the story of Adam and Eve depicts one man and one wife) I’m just stating on a large scale this the two person marriage unit became prevalent. Even the new testament of the bible speaks of this. In the simplest way I can put it, the New Testament not only fulfills the old testament but explains to us how to live a good life during our present lifetime. Our time period on a biblical time scale, is considered the post Christ Crucifixion era or A.D. This NEW era brought about many changes including promoting the validity and benefit of monogamy. There’s  a verse 1 Corinthians 7:2 that says, “But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.” The apostles saw how frivolous sex and multiple partnerships were ruining lives and dropped this wisdom on the early church. Therefore, intensifying the possibility of two people remaining faithful in a marriage.  Hey, with Gods help you can do anything.Even Jesus told his followers if you lust you are committing adultery in your heart showing us we might be tempted inwardly  but if we guard our hearts and minds we don't have to succumb to sin in our actions.

So, what’s my point.  

Men and Women are capable of doing the right thing, we all have this powerful thing called choice. Make your decisions wisely. Cheating destroys families and ruins lives. In a world where men have so many options and so much access to multiple women via social media, LADIES, the power is in your hands. STOP BEING SO EASY TO GET, MEN WILL RISE TO WHATEVER STANDARD WE MAKE THEM KEEP. Don’t go after another woman’s man and don’t be so easily impressed.

MEN, find some business. STOP INDULGING IN SO MUCH NONSENSE. Go find a way to build generational wealth for your family that will affect your future generations. Make something out of your life so God can say well done at the end of it. Respect yourself and the women you encounter, the future generations and your children depend on it. Be the man your future son needs.

MEN, I AM STILL GOING TO HOLD YOU TO A STANDARD. Women are your accountability.  Stop cheating! You’re better than that. Anyone can cheat, but a faithful man he is commendable. The Holy Spirit and his gift of self-control is real. Use it. Women love your man, encourage him to be faithful with your actions so that he wants to come home to you but it is not your responsibility to make him faithful. Don’t feel like less of a woman if he steps out on you, he is the problem not you. You’re his partner not his momma, he should have good enough character to do the right thing. ( I know men get cheated on as well. Don’t harden your heart fellas if your cheated on, pick a woman who will appreciate you and reciprocate your love ❤ )

Live Free , Be Peace, and Love Willingly,

Gab