My Birth Story

Psalms 127:3: "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him."

Before I gave birth to my beautiful son, I watched and read many birth stories. I needed to see positive stories to keep fearful thoughts out of my mind. As a first-time mom, it can be nerve-wracking thinking about birth because what we see on TV and in movies appears so traumatic. My birth was calm and quite enjoyable just like I prayed and believed it would be. I didn’t think I’d share my story but in honor of me being 7 months postpartum, I thought I’d reminisce and help an expecting mom feel empowered to have a wonderful birth experience.

When I found out I was expecting I just knew I'd give birth in a birthing center. As a Black woman, you must plan and advocate for yourself much more than most. Unfortunately, when I took tours of the birth clinics in our area they didn't look sterile enough for me, and although I'm not a germophobe I just needed the super clean vibes of a hospital. After much trial and error, I finally found an all-Black team of doctors and midwives whom I felt safe to take care of my baby and me.

A Week Before 

My son was born exactly on his due date which I hear is very rare. The week leading up to his birth I tried everything to get him to come early. I walked a mile while doing squats, curb walked, drank raspberry leaf tea, ate eggplant Parmesan, and even talked to Richie all day begging him to obey my eviction notice. When you’re in the last few days before birth you barely have room for fear because you want the baby out of you so bad. I couldn’t get out of bed without rolling. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to walk because the pressure in my pelvis was so great. I felt heavy, hot, and wide. My husband and I’s parents called every day asking if it was time for them to come to the city and help me give birth while also telling me to be patient.

Day Before 

The day before Richie was born I had contractions the entire night but they were light so I could sleep through them. We had an appointment scheduled for the morning because I had complained of headaches and my doctors suspected that I had preeclampsia and might need to be induced. I didn’t want to be induced because I was trying all the natural remedies to kick-start labor. I told my husband when I get to the hospital I’ll be 3 centimeters. I could feel my son was in position and  I knew I had been contracting all night. Sure enough, when we arrived I was 3 centimeters but it was also confirmed I had preeclampsia and needed to stay at the hospital. This is when my birth plan began to unravel. I wanted to labor at home and arrive back at the hospital around 7cm. So, my husband and I snuck off to Chick-fil-A to eat because once I was admitted they wouldn’t let me have another bite of food. When I arrived back at the hospital thanks to an unwanted membrane sweep, I was contracting pretty frequently. I was excited to hear Richie’s heartbeat on the monitor and to know for sure I would see my baby soon! I got dressed in my hospital gown, had my IV inserted and began to rest while doing my breathing exercises. My mom kept telling me to relax my face when contractions would wash over me because tensing up makes them worse. I was administered some relaxing meds, our family prayed over me, and I dozed off to sleep. 

Hours Before

I was 7 centimeters dilated when my nurses and doctor kept asking me why I was so chill as a first-time mom.  Honestly,  fear is what can make pain worse but if you’re not afraid your body can embrace birth. I read books on supernatural and pain-free child birthing that helped me to mentally prepare. My mantra was, “ My body was made to do this.” I also had double foot surgery as a child so I’ve felt excruciating pain before and I hadn’t reached the point where I felt anything was unbearable. My doctor and mom convinced me to get the epidural while things were so calm and so I did. The petocin that was administered in my opinion, was making my contractions worse and I didn't have time to try to prove to everyone that I could do it naturally. It was odd for me to feel nothing below my waste. I also hated that I couldn’t get up and walk but what I didn’t hate was feeling no pain while giving birth. Right before midnight at around 9cm, my doctor told me it was time for me to get ready to push. She helped me get to 10cm and asked my mom to hold one leg while my husband held the other. I recall my husband asking if he could help deliver Richie as he put his gloves on. On my 4th push, I was a little overheated so we took a break to get my fan and position it near my face. I looked to my right and behind the curtain was my dad praying incessantly. As I gathered the strength to push again my doctor began to coach me but all I could hear was my husband saying, "Gabby you've got this! You can do it!" As the doctor told my husband to grab our baby on my last push, the most incredible wave of relief I ever felt washed over me. It was like my belly weighed 500lbs and all of the weight and pressure was lifted. In reality, it was about 25 lbs of pressure lifted off of my waist. I heard my child's first cries and I was elated. I didnt get to see him immediately because I was too busy catching my breath and as the nurse washed him off I began to say, "Let me see him!" I was in shock that the child I sang to every day was finally here. I also felt a moment of anxiety, because who isn't nervous when you give birth to your first child? You have so many questions about how will you raise your kids, protect them, and nurture them. When my rollercoaster of emotions settled, I held my precious baby and felt like I was Wonder Woman. Over the next few days of recovery, I was surrounded by immense love and support that washed away all of the post-partum anxiety. As I got to know my baby and he got to know me the love exchanged is indescribable. I see God in a new and fascinating way through motherhood and I love it. I pray that if you are expecting or desire to give birth one day that God gives you a birth with ease! I want you to know that birth is beautiful, and God can and will prepare you for it. <3

Love, Gab